I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
