i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
