Too much gin, very little bucket
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
