dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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