you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
