my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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