i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize