I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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