Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
