You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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