Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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