Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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