Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
