The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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