i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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