I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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