So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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