I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
