Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have tasted many bathrooms
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
