I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
