My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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