big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
