Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
