I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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