ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize