Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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