OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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