I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
