I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So much rum. So many feels.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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