New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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