it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
