sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I didn't notice because vodka
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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