Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
