I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize