I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
