Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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