she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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