i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
