I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
