I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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