She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
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I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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