Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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