dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i came on her dog
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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