I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
