Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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