he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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