Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
