New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
