I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
