My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Randomize
