you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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