i just had sex bonerless
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
