I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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