why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
