Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
