I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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