i just had sex bonerless
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize