I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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