Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
